Sunday, 14 November 2010


Has it ever occurred to you that during all those years in which the Catholic Church persecuted and burned those she called “witches”, all she did was to set the competition’s stalls ablaze.

Think of Aldi firebombing all Lidl stores or Tesco setting all Sainsbury stores to fire. Exorcism is the brand name of the Catholic Church's own witchcraft product. Nobody else was permitted to compete.

Business, apparently, is booming and this weekend, in Baltimore, the Catholic Church has held a workshop for bishops and priests in the USA to train them as exorcists. To help us recognise those in need of exorcism, Bishop Paprocki, the organiser of the workshop, has described some of the classic signs of possession by a demon, “speaking in a language the person has never learned; extraordinary shows of strength; a sudden aversion to spiritual things like holy water or the name of God; and severe sleeplessness, lack of appetite and cutting, scratching and biting the skin.”

Writing books (or reading them) that call for the dismantling of the Church is evidently no proof of possession by the devil. You can safely order a copy of Double Cross: The Code of the Catholic Church for your best friends.

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